In some counselling, the counsellor asks the questions and suggests a plan. In non-directive counselling, you lead. Here’s what that looks like in a real session, where it came from and when it’s the right choice.
Non-directive counselling is an approach in which the counsellor doesn’t give advice or set the agenda. You decide what to talk about. The counsellor listens closely, reflects back what they hear and offers empathy and acceptance, so you can understand your situation and reach your own decisions.
It’s also called client-centred or person-centred counselling. The American psychologist Carl Rogers developed it in the 1940s, and it remains one of the best-known approaches in counselling.
The idea behind it
Rogers believed that people have a natural drive to grow and to solve their own problems, and that this drive gets stuck when they feel judged, pressured or misunderstood. So instead of diagnosing and instructing, the counsellor creates conditions in which the person can think clearly for themselves.
In 1957 he set out the conditions he believed were needed for change. Three of them, all about the counsellor, became known as the core conditions:
- Empathy. The counsellor tries to understand your experience as you feel it, and shows you that they’ve understood.
- Unconditional positive regard. The counsellor accepts you as a person, without judging what you say, even when they wouldn’t make the same choices.
- Congruence, or genuineness. The counsellor is real with you. They don’t hide behind a professional mask or pretend to feel what they don’t.
What a non-directive session looks like
Take Chiamaka, 27, who works in Lagos. Her partner wants them to move to Canada next year. She has come to counselling saying she “can’t decide”.
A directive counsellor might list the pros and cons, ask about her finances and suggest she make a decision by the end of the month.
A non-directive counsellor works differently:
Chiamaka: “Everyone says I’d be mad to stay. My mum keeps sending me japa videos.”
Counsellor: “It sounds like there’s a lot of pressure from people around you to go.”
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Chiamaka: “Yes. And I do want to go, I think. I just feel guilty about my dad. He’s not well.”
Counsellor: “So part of you wants to go, and part of you feels you’d be leaving him behind.”
Chiamaka: (after a pause) “I think I’m scared nobody will look after him the way I do.”
The counsellor hasn’t given an opinion. By reflecting what Chiamaka says, they’ve helped her get from “I can’t decide” to the fear underneath it. That’s often where the real decision gets made. Our piece on leaving parents behind when you japa looks at that situation in more depth.
The steps of a non-directive session
Non-directive counselling doesn’t follow a script, but sessions tend to move through the same stages:
- You set the topic. The counsellor might open with “Where would you like to start?”
- You talk, the counsellor listens. They follow your lead rather than steering towards a topic they think is important.
- The counsellor reflects. They put what you’ve said, and the feeling behind it, into their own words so you can hear it back.
- You go deeper. Feeling understood, people usually say more, and notice things they hadn’t put into words before.
- You reach your own insight or decision. The counsellor supports it, but it’s yours.
The techniques counsellors use
- Reflecting feelings: “You sound exhausted by all of this.”
- Paraphrasing: saying back the content of what you said, in fewer words.
- Summarising: pulling together several things you’ve said, to show the bigger picture.
- Open questions: “What was that like for you?” rather than “Were you angry?”
- Silence: giving you time to think instead of filling every pause.
Directive, non-directive and eclectic counselling
Non-directive counselling is easiest to understand next to the alternatives.
| Directive | Non-directive | Eclectic | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Who leads | The counsellor | You | Depends on what you need |
| Counsellor’s role | Expert who gathers facts, diagnoses and advises | Listener who reflects and accepts | Chooses methods to fit the person and problem |
| Associated with | E. G. Williamson (1930s) | Carl Rogers (1940s) | Frederick Thorne (1950s) |
| Typical techniques | Questions, tests, information, a recommended plan | Reflection, empathy, open questions, silence | A mix of both, and other methods |
| Works well for | Clear, practical decisions, such as choosing a course | Personal problems, feelings, self-understanding | Most real-world counselling |
Directive counselling grew out of student and career counselling. Williamson’s approach is commonly described as a series of steps: gathering information about the person, making sense of it, identifying the problem, predicting how it might develop, counselling and following up. It’s efficient, but the person can end up following a plan they don’t own.
Eclectic counselling recognises that one approach doesn’t fit everyone. Thorne was one of its first systematic advocates, and today’s integrative approaches, which blend methods into a single way of working, follow in the same spirit. A counsellor working this way might start non-directively to understand you, then use structured tools, like those from cognitive behavioural therapy, once you’ve agreed what you want to change.
Does non-directive counselling work?
On average, yes, with some caveats. Reviews that pool many studies of person-centred and other humanistic therapies find that people improve substantially, and do about as well as with other therapies, though structured approaches such as CBT come out slightly ahead in some comparisons.
Depression is where the picture is most mixed. A large 2021 analysis found basic non-directive counselling less effective for depression than other therapies, partly because studies often use it as the “comparison” treatment. A UK trial of a structured, person-centred counselling for depression found it did as well as CBT after six months, but CBT did better at a year.
Suggested read: Counselling Techniques and Skills: What Counsellors Do
Across every approach, counsellors who show empathy, acceptance and genuineness tend to get better results. That’s a link, not proof, but it’s one reason Rogers’ ideas run through most counselling today.
When it may not be the right fit
- You want concrete tools or a clear plan, for example for panic attacks or a phobia. A structured approach such as CBT may suit you better.
- You’re dealing with depression. Ask whether a structured approach is an option, since the evidence for basic non-directive counselling on its own is weaker here.
- You’re in crisis. The first priority is safety, which needs a more active approach. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 112 (or 767 in Lagos), or Safe Place Nigeria on 0800 800 2000. All the numbers are on our helplines page.
- You have a severe mental illness that needs medical care. Counselling can help alongside treatment, but not instead of it.
- You find open-ended conversation frustrating. Say so. A good counsellor will adjust.
Finding a non-directive counsellor in Nigeria
Many counsellors use person-centred skills alongside other methods, so it helps to ask. When you book, it’s fine to say, “How do you usually work? Will you give me advice, or help me work things out myself?” Our list of questions to ask a potential therapist has more.
To compare approaches, read our guide to the types of counselling, or browse licensed therapists on Mytherapist.ng and read how each describes their work.
Frequently asked questions
What is non-directive counselling in simple words? It’s counselling where you lead the conversation and the counsellor listens, reflects and supports you without giving advice, so you can reach your own answers.
Who is the father of non-directive counselling? Carl Rogers, an American psychologist, who developed it in the 1940s. It later became known as client-centred, then person-centred, therapy.
What is the difference between directive and non-directive counselling? In directive counselling the counsellor leads: they gather information, identify the problem and recommend what to do. In non-directive counselling you lead, and the counsellor helps you find your own answer.
What is an example of non-directive counselling? A client says, “I don’t know if I should leave my job.” Instead of advising, the counsellor reflects: “You sound torn, as if part of you is ready to go and part of you is afraid to.” The client then explores what they’re afraid of.
What is eclectic counselling? An approach that draws on methods from different schools of counselling, chosen to fit the person and their problem. Many counsellors today combine methods in a similar way.
This article is awaiting clinical review. It’s based on published research and health guidelines, and we’ll update it once a clinician has reviewed it.
