Maybe you’re 16 and seeing a school counsellor. Maybe you’re 23, living at home, with your parents paying the bills. Either way, it’s natural to wonder what gets back to them. The answer depends mostly on your age.
If you’re 18 or over, your therapist can’t tell your parents anything without your written consent, except in rare cases like a serious risk to your life. If you’re under 18, the law lets a therapist share information when a parent asks, but doesn’t say they must share everything.
If you’re 18 or over
In Nigerian law, you’re an adult at 18, so your therapy information is yours. Your therapist needs your written consent to share it with anyone, including your parents. That doesn’t change if they pay for your sessions or you live under their roof.
The exceptions are the same as for any adult, and they’re rare:
- a serious risk to your life or to someone else
- a court order, or a law that requires disclosure
- if you became too unwell to make decisions, a guardian or representative, who could be a parent, could ask for information on your behalf
Our guide to when a therapist can break confidentiality covers these in detail.
One practical point: if a parent pays, the payment itself may tell them you’re having sessions, even though they can’t see what you talk about.
If you’re under 18
Nigerian law treats you as a child until you turn 18. For therapy, that means:
- There’s no set age for agreeing to therapy on your own. Nigerian law doesn’t say at what age you can see a therapist without a parent’s consent. Ask the counsellor or service what they need.
- Parents can ask for information. The National Health Act allows a therapist to share a child’s health information when a parent or guardian asks. It doesn’t say they must hand over everything.
- Parents usually make the decisions, but your views count. The Mental Health Act says a parent or guardian acts for a child in mental health care and must act in the child’s best interests. A health worker should also weigh the views of a child over 13 who understands what’s involved.
- You have a right to privacy. The Child’s Rights Act gives every child a right to privacy, alongside parents’ right to reasonable supervision.
That leaves your therapist some judgement about what to share, so ask them at the start. A good question: “If my parents ask, what would you tell them?”
When they’d tell someone even if you asked them not to
Whatever your age, a therapist or counsellor may need to act if:
- your life is in danger
- you’re being abused or seriously hurt, or another child is
- someone else is at serious risk
If you’re under 18, acting may mean involving a parent or another adult to keep you safe. If the person hurting you is at home, the aim is to protect you, and a report goes to child-protection services or the police.
Suggested read: Q3 2026, wrapped: everything that changed on Mytherapist.ng
In Lagos, the state expects school counsellors, and medical and mental health practitioners, to report suspected child abuse. Good practice, including Lagos State’s child-protection policy, is to tell you first that they need to pass it on, and to whom.
Where to get help if you’re under 18
- A school counsellor, if your school has one.
- A doctor, who can refer you to a mental health service.
- An adult you trust, such as a relative or a teacher.
- If you’re being abused: the Cece Yara Foundation’s free child helpline is 0800 800 8001, answered 24 hours. In Lagos, the Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency takes calls from anyone, including children, on 0-8000-333-333 (toll-free, 24 hours).
- In immediate danger: call 112, or 767 in Lagos. To talk to someone at any hour, Safe Place Nigeria is on 0800 800 2000. It’s toll-free.
If you want your parents on your side
- Pick a calm moment, not the middle of an argument.
- Say what’s been happening and what you’d like: “I’ve been feeling low for a while, and I’d like to talk to a counsellor.”
- If you’re worried about how they’ll react, ask a relative or teacher to help you raise it.
- If they say no, a school counsellor or doctor can still help, and may be able to talk to your parents with you.
Questions to ask at the start, at any age
- If my parents ask, what would you tell them?
- What would make you share something I’ve told you?
- Would you tell me first?
- Who can see my notes?
Our guide to what therapists write in their notes explains what’s recorded. If you’re 18 or over, you can find a therapist on Mytherapist.ng and meet by video, voice or chat. Read more about whether online therapy is confidential.
Frequently asked questions
Can my parents see my therapy notes?
If you’re 18 or over, not without your written consent, except in rare cases such as a court order. If you’re under 18, the law allows a therapist to share information when a parent asks, though it doesn’t say they must share everything.
Will my therapist tell my parents if I self-harm?
If you’re an adult, not unless they believe your life is at serious risk, and even then they should share only what’s needed to keep you safe. If you’re under 18, a therapist may need to involve a parent or another adult to keep you safe. Ask what they would do before it comes up.
Can I see a therapist without my parents knowing?
If you’re 18 or over, yes. Your therapist needs your consent to tell anyone. If you’re under 18, Nigerian law doesn’t set an age for agreeing to therapy alone, so talk to a school counsellor or doctor about your options.
What if my parents are the problem?
If a parent is hurting you, a counsellor, doctor or teacher can help you get protection, and a report goes to child-protection services or the police. The Cece Yara Foundation’s free child line, 0800 800 8001, is answered 24 hours.
This article is awaiting clinical review. It’s based on published research and health guidelines, and we’ll update it once a clinician has reviewed it.
