You’ve noticed something is wrong with someone you love, and a frightening thought has crossed your mind. The most useful thing you can do is also the hardest: ask them.
If you’re worried someone is thinking about suicide, ask them directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking doesn’t put the idea in their head. Then listen without judging, keep them safe, help them reach support, and check in again.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 112, or 767 in Lagos, and stay with them. For support now, Safe Place Nigeria on 0800 800 2000 and Lagos Lifeline on 0700 000 6463 are free and open 24 hours.
Signs to take seriously
- Talking about wanting to die, being a burden, or not being around much longer.
- Hopelessness: “Nothing will change”, “What’s the point?”
- Withdrawing from people and things they used to enjoy.
- Giving away important things, or saying goodbyes that feel final.
- A sudden calm after a long period of distress.
- Drinking or using drugs more.
- A recent heavy blow: a loss, debt, a breakup, an exam or job failure, shame.
One sign alone doesn’t mean someone is suicidal. Several together, or any talk of death, is reason to ask.
How to ask
- Find a private moment, without rushing.
- Say what you’ve noticed. “You haven’t seemed yourself since the business closed. I’m worried about you.”
- Ask directly. “Are you thinking about suicide?” or “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
Using the word can feel frightening. But research consistently finds that asking about suicide doesn’t increase suicidal thoughts, and a direct question gives the person permission to talk. Vague questions such as “You won’t do anything silly, will you?” invite a quick “No.”
If they say yes
- Stay calm and listen. You don’t need the right words. “Thank you for telling me. I’m here” is enough. Then ask, “How can I help?”
- Don’t argue, lecture or rush to fix it.
- Ask whether they have a plan, and whether they have things they could use to harm themselves. A plan means help is needed now.
- Don’t promise to keep it secret. Their safety comes first.
- If they’re in immediate danger, don’t leave them alone. Call 112, or 767 in Lagos, or take them to the nearest hospital emergency unit.
Keep them safe
If you can do it safely, put away or take away anything they could use to harm themselves, such as medicines, or ask someone they trust to hold on to it for a while. The World Health Organization’s guidance tells families to limit access to the means of self-harm while the risk lasts. Stay with them, or make sure someone else does, until they’re connected to help.
Help them connect
| Line | Number | Hours listed |
|---|---|---|
| Safe Place Nigeria (run by She Writes Woman) | 0800 800 2000, toll-free | 24 hours |
| Lagos Lifeline (open to callers across Nigeria) | 0700 000 6463, or WhatsApp 0909 000 6463 | 24 hours |
| SURPIN | 0800 078 7746, toll-free | 24 hours |
| MANI | 0809 111 6264, or WhatsApp 0916 841 7413 | Phone line: weekdays, 9am to 5pm |
Offer to make the call with them, or sit beside them while they do. A therapist can help too. You can find one who works with suicidal thoughts and crisis support. Help them make a safety plan for the harder days ahead.
What to avoid saying
- “You have so much to live for.” It can sound as if you haven’t heard them.
- “Suicide is a sin” or “You’ll shame the family.” In one Nigerian survey, half the people asked saw a suicide attempt as bringing shame on the family. Words like these usually add to the shame that’s making the person feel worse. If faith matters to them, let it be a source of hope, not a threat.
- “Stop being dramatic.”
- Handling it alone. Bring in help.
Is attempted suicide a crime in Nigeria?
Yes, for now. Attempted suicide is still an offence under the Criminal Code, used in the south, and the Penal Code, used in the north and Abuja, with up to a year in prison. Arrests and court cases are reported, but no official figures exist and they appear to be uncommon. In Lagos it’s a lesser offence, and the law directs the court to order hospital care.
In August 2026 the Federal Executive Council approved a change to the National Mental Health Act that would decriminalise it. It still has to pass the National Assembly, so until then the old law stands. Our explainer on Nigeria’s Mental Health Act covers the wider legal picture.
Don’t let this stop you getting someone help. Lagos Lifeline says its calls are confidential, and that it only acts further if someone’s safety is at immediate risk. Crisis lines exist to support people, and hospitals exist to treat them.
Suggested read: Making a Safety Plan Before You Need It
Follow up
Check in the next day, and in the weeks after. Crises can return. Keep inviting them out, keep asking, and keep helping them stay connected to support.
Look after yourself
Supporting someone through this is heavy. Talk to someone you trust about how it’s affecting you, and use the same helplines if you need to. Read more about suicidal thoughts, and our guide to checking on your guy friends.
Frequently asked questions
How do I ask someone if they’re suicidal?
Choose a private moment, say what you’ve noticed, and ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Then listen without judging.
Will asking about suicide put the idea in their head?
No. Research consistently finds that asking doesn’t increase suicidal thoughts. Many people are relieved to be asked plainly.
What should I do if someone tells me they want to end their life?
Stay with them, listen, and don’t promise secrecy. If they’re in immediate danger, call 112, or 767 in Lagos. Help them call Safe Place Nigeria on 0800 800 2000 or Lagos Lifeline on 0700 000 6463.
Is attempted suicide a crime in Nigeria?
Yes, for now. It’s still an offence under the Criminal Code and the Penal Code. The Federal Executive Council approved a change to decriminalise it in August 2026, but it still needs the National Assembly.
Who can I call in Nigeria if someone is suicidal?
Safe Place Nigeria (0800 800 2000) and Lagos Lifeline (0700 000 6463) are free and open 24 hours, and Lagos Lifeline takes calls from anywhere in Nigeria. In immediate danger, call 112, or 767 in Lagos.
This article is awaiting clinical review. It’s based on published research and health guidelines, and we’ll update it once a clinician has reviewed it.
