Empathy
Last reviewed Saturday, October 24, 2026Empathy is the ability to understand what another person is feeling and to share some of that feeling, while knowing it’s theirs and not yours. It lets you see a situation from someone else’s side. Empathy sits at the heart of close relationships and good care, and it can be learned.
Also called: putting yourself in someone’s shoes; feeling with someone; perspective-taking.
Types
- Cognitive empathy: understanding what someone thinks and feels (perspective-taking).
- Emotional empathy: feeling some of their joy or pain yourself, while knowing it belongs to them.
- Compassion: feeling for the person and wanting to help. Researchers count it as separate, though empathy often leads to it.
Examples
- A friend fails a professional exam. Instead of “Just try again”, you say: “You worked so hard for that. I’m sorry.”
- A colleague goes quiet after a bereavement. You notice, ask and listen.
- In an argument with your partner, you repeat back what you heard before giving your side.
Benefits
Across 82 studies with 6,138 clients, people whose therapists showed more empathy tended to do better in therapy. Empathy can also be taught: in 18 trials, training improved it.
There’s a cost too: taking on other people’s distress all day can wear you down. In one lab study, empathy training increased distress at others’ suffering, and compassion training then eased it.
In Nigeria
When someone shares a problem, the quick replies are often “pray about it”, “e go better” or “others have it worse”. They’re kindly meant, but they can close the conversation. Empathy starts with listening and saying back what you heard: “That sounds like a lot to carry.” Our guide to checking on your guy friends has more.
Empathy vs sympathy and compassion
Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone from the outside. Empathy is feeling with them. Compassion adds action. In a study of 53 people with advanced cancer, sympathy felt like unwanted pity, while empathy and compassion helped, compassion most. Self-compassion turns the same care towards yourself.
When to get help
Talk to someone if you find it hard to connect with other people’s feelings, or you’re worn out from carrying them (see compassion fatigue). You can book a licensed therapist on Mytherapist.ng for self-esteem and emotional skills, or couples counselling if empathy has gone missing between you and your partner.
Read next
This entry is awaiting clinical review. It’s based on published research and health guidelines, and we’ll update it once a clinician has reviewed it.
